


Tuvok's Death

by Caladenia



Series: The 27th Year [4]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-30 16:35:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6432091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caladenia/pseuds/Caladenia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He fell to his knees, taking Janeway down with him like a drowning man.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tuvok's Death

 

* * *

  _Foreword_

_This year marks the 50 th anniversary of Voyager’s return to the Alpha Quadrant. This auspicious date also coincides with the release of the personal logs of Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay. _

_It is well known that the Starfleet ruling to keep those logs confidential for so long has caused considerable frustration among Federation scholars and the families of Voyager’s crew over the years. Without access to these crucial primary sources of information, many of the former command team’s decisions were left wide open to criticisms including, sadly to say, from Starfleet admiralty itself._

_One such decision which remains one of the most important events in Voyager’s history was the simultaneous retirement of both the captain and her second-in-command in the early months of 2397. Only a thorough study of their personal logs, carefully correlated with other knowledge sources, could reveal the critical influence Commander Tuvok’s death had on the command team’s decision to finally relinquish their joint responsibilities after twenty-seven years at Voyager’s helm._

_As with similar publications by the Voyager Foundation (see previous chapters), the excerpt below is a dramatized interpretation of the study’s findings. Scholars are invited to download the complete annotated analysis (#2397-4) from the Open Library._

_Captain Elizabeth Janeway (Rtd) and Dr Kolopak Jnr Janeway-Paris_

_Patrons of the Voyager Foundation (est. 2440) – 50 th Anniversary Project_

_August 2487, Indiana, Earth_

* * *

 

"Tuvok? I’ve brought you a present,” she said, entering the over lit room after the door chime was answered. 

_The EMH had found the Captain in sick bay one late evening waiting for him. She had waived away his offer of medical help. " Tell me about Tuvok’s condition, Doctor. I read your report but I would prefer if you could tell me,” she had asked instead._

The floor was half obscured by sheets of paper blackened by small handwriting. Equations and drawings punctuated the cursive text, a confusing combination of Standard and Vulcan scripts with a smattering of mathematical symbols from languages picked up in the Delta Quadrant. With practised ease, she walked carefully through the chaos, avoiding knocking down the candles scattered up hazardously across the carpet.

_The Doctor had gone straight to the point. He knew Janeway was not going to accept anything less than the raw truth._

_“Captain. I’ll spare you the biochemistry. The readings show that Commander Tuvok’s physical condition has been deteriorating rapidly since my previous examination only a month ago. His eyesight and fine motor skills are declining. His weight has dropped. He has problems sleeping. However, I'm more concerned about his mental state.”_

She suddenly found herself pushed hard against a wall, a hot breath and hard words dripping on her right cheek. “Why have you come?”

_"Explain,” she had asked, urging him on._

_“What mental faculties Commander Tuvok has retained since his initial diagnosis have been pretty much stable for the past twenty years, as you know. While he cannot operate as a bridge officer, he has for the most part acted in a remarkably rational manner within the world he has built for himself. More to the point, he has managed to uphold much of the Vulcan self-control over his emotions. But now he is getting more frail, more easily tired. This is going to strain his mind control as his body begins to weaken. He will experience short term memory loss at first, followed by confusion and then eventually hallucinations.”_

_“I visited him yesterday. He did not remember our visit to the bridge the week before but had clear recollections of our early years in the Delta Quadrant,” she had admitted._

“I have brought something from the airponics bay.” She held out a small plant, the fleshy leaves sheltering a thick spike of heavily scented blue flowers. “It’s an orchid you and Kes created. You were trying to improve the depth of colour but she wanted it to smell nice too.”

_She had leaned against the biobed, as if taking strength from the tough metal frame. “I talked to Chakotay. He said remembering the past may help distract Tuvok from what is happening to him now. He suggested people should help him revisit earlier times of his life.”_

_“I think that’s an excellent idea, Captain. Maybe also engaging his attention with more than one sense. Smell for example is a great window to the past.”_

His hand cupped her chin, dark eyes searching her face for something familiar from the deeper recesses of his memory. ”I know Kes but I don't recognise you. Identify yourself,” he said slowly.

“It’s me, Tuvok. Captain Janeway.”

_“Could Tuvok hurt himself?” she had asked after a long period of silence._

_“He is going to get more confused, more easily frustrated when the present and the past begin to clash. And his strength is still superior to that of a human. It's difficult to know if he will turn his frustration against himself or others once his mind control starts to slip away. But it won’t be on purpose.”_

He got hold of her wrist. The small pot bounced on the carpeted floor, the flowers strewn about on the white pages like confetti. “You are not Captain Janeway. She is dead. Voyager exploded. You were on the bridge. You are dead. I saw it.”

It was like he was talking about a different captain, Janeway thought rapidly. Was it about the time the Viidians had boarded Voyager after it had divided itself into two exact replicas? Only Kim and Naomi had made the jump from the doomed version of the ship. Had Tuvok been privy to the discussions she had had with the copy of herself? She could not remember. She had ordered Voyager to self-destruct. Or rather her duplicate had.

It was all rather confusing, and probably more so for Tuvok. Maybe talking about it would help him.

_"Is there anything we can do?”_

_“The Vulcan brain is not as plastic as that of humans. Once his disease took hold, there was nothing much I could do medically speaking. And now, it may be better for him when …”_

“What did you see Tuvok?”

“Light, a blinding light. And then darkness. Seven. Seven helped me. Where is she?”

“Seven is dead, Tuvok. She died a long time ago.”

He did not see the cloud darkening her eyes. Helping him remember his past was bringing unwanted memories into her own mind. She did not really want to revisit times she much preferred to leave untouched.

_“He may not be the Commander we all knew and respected, but there is still much that is Tuvok in that mind of his. I won’t give up on him that easily.” She had given the EMH the full benefit of her icy blue stare, making sure he understood perfectly where he was not to tread._

_The Doctor had retreated. “Yes, Captain. Of course. Well, I suggest we maintain his current routine: regular visits, outings, exercises. I would like all those who visit him to make notes of his condition. He’s never liked me as he says now and the least he sees me the better.”_

_“Thank you Doctor. I’ll make sure everybody does what you are asking.” He had expected her to leave but she had lingered, toying with the edge of the biobed._

He shook his head. “She is there. There is debris everywhere. I can’t make my way around without her help. Entire sections are too hazardous for access. The crew has taken to the escape pods. Only a handful of us have stayed behind. The Captain is still there but not for long.”

There was no escaping his train of thoughts but she was puzzled by his story. The Viidian episode had preceded Seven’s arrival on Voyager. Tuvok was manifestly remembering a different moment in his past but she could not place the details.

_The Doctor had busied himself entering data on his PADD and almost missed the softly spoken question._

_"How long?”_

_The dreaded question. Tuvok was a unique case, the one that had eluded him for such a long time and now the end was coming. Fast._

_“Weeks at best, Captain. My opinion is that his decline will accelerate. His fitness was key to help keep his mind under control. The training that Commander Chakotay devised for him so many years ago has done more for his mental health than anything I've been able to come up with. Now that his body is finally failing him, ... ” He did not need to continue._

Tuvok strengthened his grip on her wrist, oblivious to the crumbling of the small bones underneath. She gasped but did not protest. If she called Security, they would sedate him. The Doctor would insist that the Commander needed to be restrained or monitored in sickbay. Tuvok had so little time left. She could not take that away from him.

_“Doctor, your care has been exemplary. You cannot be faulted.”_

_“But it has not been enough, Captain. I am afraid that he is drifting out of our reach.”_

_She had curtly nodded acceptance of the fact. “I want a weekly report on his condition, Doctor,” she had said before leaving him alone._

_It had been a very long time since the EMH had wished the last person to leave sickbay would deactivate him. Remaining standing in the middle of sickbay, he had wondered about what would become of Kathryn Janeway after Tuvok’s death. The Vulcan was her oldest friend on Voyager, the only link to her life before the Caretaker, before the Delta Quadrant. Would Tuvok be his only patient over the next few weeks or should he also keep his eyes on the Captain?_

“What happened to her?” She focused on keeping her voice calm and steady.

He closed his eyes and pushed his thumb into the back of her palm, ignoring her pain. “The Captain is hurt. Ensign Kim tells me she has scars there.” His other hand followed the contour of her jaw. “And here too.”

She did not recall ever being injured like that. She had never lived through what Tuvok was relating. The story was not part of her past. How could it be a part of his?

His fingers moved along her face, suddenly pressing hard on her cheek, the corner of the eye, the forehead. She started to struggle and tried to push him away this time but he leaned forward, pinning her against the wall. Images took over her thoughts as the Vulcan forcibly initiated a mind meld.

Voyager’s bridge laid half destroyed, conduits hanging from broken ceiling tiles and smoking consoles silhouetted in the dim light. A pang of sadness went through her as she saw Seven, exhausted and grimy beside B’Elanna and Neelix. A much younger looking self was wearing a grey tank top, a round silver object attached to the belt. She had half-healed burns on her face and hand as Tuvok had just described. She looked around for her First Officer but did not see him. It did not occur to her that the Chakotay she knew might not be at her side.

Tuvok spoke again, the proximity of his voice grating with the strange visions rammed into her. “We argue about the ship. Then she puts her arms around me, to say goodbye. I just hold her for a short moment and say the traditional Vulcan salute. That is the only response I allow myself. That is all I can let her see of what I really feel.”

The images disappeared, replaced by a gigantic thundercloud of emotions, engulfing her as the walls of his mind breached.

Despair, shame, guilt, pride, admiration.

Loss.

Love.

"I wanted to tell her how proud I was to have worked under her. How my life on Voyager far from my family had been so much more fulfilling because of her. That I would always remember the sound of her laugh, the shape of her face. How she helped me become a better man when I thought striving to be a better Vulcan was all there was.”

His fingers slid off her face. Her thoughts rushed back into the sudden void.

“Instead I left, without letting her know. I never told her how I was crying inside. For her. For my friend.” He fell to his knees, taking Janeway down with him like a drowning man.

 ^^^

Half an hour later, Janeway raised her husband on his comm badge, asking him to come alone. Alarmed, Chakotay run down the corridor and using his override code, opened the door to Tuvok’s quarters. The scene in front of him was not what he had feared he would find.

Tuvok was asleep, his tall body peacefully stretched among a carpet of small blue flowers. Janeway was sitting on the floor, his head in her lap. Her tears long dried up, she was whispering to him that he would always be her friend and that she loved him too.

 

* * *

_Afterword_

_Commander Tuvok died three weeks after the event recounted here, surrounded by his closest friends. Following Starfleet tradition, his body was committed to the depth of space._

_The command team resigned from their positions four months later._

* * *

 

 


End file.
